shark_hat | Crypticity

Well, I was going through London anyway, why not go to the Terrifying Friday the 13th Book Club?
I was going to do a descriptive post but I quite like the cryptic nature of the notes I made to remind myself of who they all were.

Woo! [it was a lot of fun. I always like Ince being sarcastic, and there were some excellent acts as well. Wish the music hadn't been so loud, though.]
Martin White and his orchestra- cursed accordion song
Tim Key- broken arm. Dismembered hand poem.
Danielle Ward- favourite decapitation stories
Peter Buckley-Hill- his own ghost ["None of my songs are terrifying, but I feel that this may be a good time to come out as a ghost". Also, due to a concatenation of circumstances, there are also ghosts of two PB-H impersonators.]
Horror books blurb competitions- Life's Victim (Bats/Ants), Ben Moor, Sucking Pit [One of the Consultants made up as "One of Life's Victims", reading some of the blurbs in competition with Ince. He managed to actually win one, by running out of blurb unexpectedly and starting another one, simply replacing the word "Ants" with "Bats". Ben Moor did interpretive dances as they were read out, the one for The Sucking Pit being particularly harrowing. Also, the blurbs of bad horror books are very funny in their own right, especially those for a long-running series about evil crabs.]
Natalie Haynes- unexpected amputations [the worst kind, as the loss of the weight on one side makes you unstable. This may be what happened to Keith Harris.]
Gary LeStrange- maggots [premiere of a new song sort of about an acid trip, I think. Involved at thirty-second period of singing "maggots" louder and louder.]
2nd half- v long. "A play at 10.10", "They fucking lie". [It massively overran- started at 7.30 and finished at 11. A couple of comments from Ince.]
Pros From Dover- Frankenstein- Frankenstein letters/braineating; Spanish ghost cleaners [Sketches. I did like the one about opening the monster's head and eventually turning him back on specifically in order to get annoyed about how distracting he was being.]
The Trap- "murder", SFX story [Sketches. One ridiculously trying to be scary by ending every line with "murder", "death", etc. One of those incongruous-sound effects sketches, reading about Dracula and hearing cheery Hawaiian music, but well-done.]
Howard Read- premature ejaculation [a song. "The scary thing is that it's the first time I've done it".]
Isy Suttie- Amy Winehouse down a well ["I learned to do this when I was playing in the graveyard as a child".]
Helen Zaltzman- Nicholas Soyer and his paper bags (w. Isy, Jo) [this was the play. Very silly.]
Jeremy Lion- Goldilocks with drinking [Justin Edwards' awful children's entertainer character- I'd meant to see his act before but hadn't got round to it. I was impressed by this- very skilfully done- and did laugh, but the rest of the audience seemed to enjoy it more.]
Phil Jay's Band [cheery songs about death]
Pan's Person- Moonlight Shadow [Jo Neary, overly-leteral dance interpratation of the song. Like the bit with eyes in the hands.]